While struck with insomnia a few nights ago I found myself tweeting images of horrible sex toys I’d found. Then this thing happened and I just couldn’t help but create a blog post for it. Yes, it was just that bad.

I mean, very rarely am I totally perplexed by a sex toy, but this thing. MY GOD! This thing just leaves me all kinds of speechless & bewildered.

I mean, WTF is it? A duck billed platypus mixed with a fish, mixed with a creepy boggly eyed hand muppet puppet (look at it upside down), fused with a cheap ass rubber chicken?

After staring at it for some time I think it’s what the remains would look like if I was on acid, tripped balls, had a paranoid freak out moment where rabid unicorns were after me and thought they’d caught Animal and skinned him alive . *shudders*

It’s just wrong. Every kind of wrong. Every. kind.

And really, is that supposed to look like warts on the wrist part shaft? Because it does. And it’s obscene.

I’d like to find the person that created this and shake the shit out of them while screaming angrily: “wtf is wrong with you?! Why in the name of all that is holy would you manufacture this?! You’re part of what’s wrong with the industry!” Then I’d break down and cry. Like a baby in the fetal position.

Of course this isn’t the only scary sex toy out there, for more check out  The Concubine and Mr.Jack – they’re hideous in every way possible.