For those of you just getting into this series I highly suggest you go back and read the first article “Getting Into the Sex Toy World ~ part 1 Building Your Blog“. The article outlinedfree sites you can use to build your blog, provided examples of online sex toy reviewers that I think are FANTASTIC, included what you will need in regard to categories and provided some “do’s and don’ts” that I think would be very helpful in developing your blog.
Once you’ve read the first article and taken the time to build your blog, I suggest you read the next in the series “Getting Into the Sex Toy World ~ Part 2 ~ Becoming an Online Affiliate”. The article outlined the steps to take in becoming an online affiliate, provided a list of online sex toy shops you can affiliate to (I’ll show you how to link to them and make money in a future article) and offered some tips to help you fill out the necessary forms.
*If you start to feel like you’re missing out or losing track don’t worry, this isn’t a typical “class”. There is no way to fall behind. Go at your own pace and remember, this isn’t a race and you don’t have to rush to “keep up”. If it helps, I’ll be linking to previous articles in the series just so you can make sure you didn’t miss anything. 
As for this weeks article I’m going to cover writing a review, the next step in getting into the sex toy world.
As with the previous articles I need to stress that in order to write reviews and have affiliate accounts you need to be of legal age before getting started. As long as you are 18/21 (depending on where you live) you should be fine, but it’s always better to be safe then sorry.
Where To Begin
For most of you writing about sex toys may seem embarrassing, overwhelming, confusing and a little discouraging, especially if you don’t have much “experience” with them or know where to begin.
The best advice I can give when it comes to writing a review is to stick with what you know;
*If you don’t have a lot of experience with toys but have tried a handful of different condoms, write about them; the way they felt, if there was any noticeable difference between types or brands, what you liked about them (or didn’t) and why.
*If fetish play is more your thing and you’ve had experiences with items like novelty handcuffs, paddles, ticklers, blindfolds or restraints (meant for tying up) then write about that.
*If you recently watched an adult movie (porn) and it’s fresh in your memory write about it. There is nothing wrong with critiquing a movie, even when it’s a naughty one. For all you know you could become the next “Roger Ebert” of porn. Not a bad gig if you can get it 
*If all you’ve ever tried is a massager (that wasn’t actually designed for sex play) feel free to write about it. It’s surprising how many personal massagers double as some of the best sex toys. After all, that is how the legendary Hitachi Magic Wand started out.
*Finally, if you’re really stumped you can always take $20.00 to your local sex shop and purchase some basic toys to review. Decent products like the Power Bullet, My First Vibe, V-Ring or Butterfly Kiss can often be found for less then $20.00. If you have money left over you can also usually find products like cock rings or other novelties for under $5.00 to review. *Just make sure that whatever you purchase is body safe and phthalate free.
**once you’ve written a few reviews and linked to products through the sites you’ve affiliated to I’ll show you how to apply as a ‘toy reviewer’. I’d do it now but most companies want examples of your work to go on, which is what this whole series is meant to help you create.
Bare Necessities
No matter what type of item you’re reviewing there are basic key features or benefits that need to be included which will allow the reader a better understanding of the product in question;
*not listed in order of importance, that’s for you to decide.
Material: Many people have allergies to materials like latex or have issue with the harsh chemicals that can be found in most jelly toys. By listing the materials you allow the reader to make a decision with their health and well being in mind, while also giving them a better idea of what the toy might “feel” like. *if you’re not sure what type of material the product is made of (after checking the box) I suggest you check the “sex toy materials” page located on Babelands website.
Size: For some people size does matter, which is why it’s always important to list the size in length, girth and/or width of a product. While you may think I’m mentioning this because of the myth that “bigger is better”, I’m actually suggesting it because for most females a smaller toy is one they would prefer to have. By listing the size of the product you allow the reader to make a decision based on whether or not they find that particular size to bring pleasure or pain, not to mention whether or not it would something they could easily hide.
Function: The best way to describe the function is to suggest the type of stimulation the product has to offer; is it light/indirect or moderate/direct stimulation? The idea here is about the “power” the toy gives off rather then the actual stimulation you use it for.
Intended Use: This is where you want to cover what it’s meant to be used for; is the product designed for nipple play? clitoral stimulation? is it great for helping to find the g-spot? can it be used anally? these are all questions you want to ask yourself when using a toy. Sometimes you’ll find that a product designed for one type of use is actually better for something completely different. If that’s the case, write about it.
Style: Most people assume that a vibrator is a slim, pasty white, elongated shaft with a dial on the bottom that simply vibrates. Little do they know that sex toys now come in 1,000′s of different styles, colors, textures and shapes. By describing the product you’re reviewing you give your reader a better visual picture of what it looks like and if it’s something they might like.*it’s also a good idea to include pictures of the product so that your readers can see it for themselves.
Cleaning Instructions: While most reviews I’ve read tend to leave this out I personally think it’s a very necessary issue to cover, especially considering the number of products that can be ruined due to improper cleansing techniques. Aside from that, it’s also good to note cleansing instructions as it helps your readers avoid any possible infections.
Compatible Lubes: This is another area that I find tends to be forgotten or left out of most reviews. You may opt to do the same but I think it’s a good thing to mention in order to avoid causing more damage then good. With so many luxury products on the market it would be a shame if someone ruined their toy by using something that wasn’t compatible.
The Bad: No matter what it is that’s being reviewed, there is almost always something that a person can find that they don’t like. That said, when mentioning the “negative” aspects of a product be honest but always try to be careful of your words and respectful of the company that makes it. You are allowed to offer constructive criticism, just don’t bash the product. After all, you never know who’s reading your review…
You don’t have to write your review in this order, nor do you have to include headings or titles if you don’t want to. This list was simply created to give you a good idea of what you consider when writing your review and what you might want to include. Feel free to take out or mention anything you want. It’s your review, not mine
As for length, it doesn’t have to be long or winded; it just has to speak of your experience honestly, openly and with some sincerity…especially if you are someone that wants to have others read their reviews and trust their judgment on toys.
Be Creative
When it comes to the actual review do you’re best to be creative and remember there are no rules. There is no “right” or “wrong”; just your experience with a product as described by you. Be honest, responsible and respectful with your approach but don’t be afraid to have fun with it…after all, if there is one thing that sex toys are it’s fun!
*you’re fully allowed to use choice words like “cunt”, “pussy”, “cock”, “dick”, “vag”, “coochie”, “va-jay-jay”, “fuck”, “ass”, “shaft”, “shlong” if you want to. Just don’t go overboard or it will come across as obscene.
*you’re also allowed to talk about your own “personal” experience with the product if you want to i.e. “Last night while I was masturbating I tried using the new xxxx in my wet pussy…” – see where I’m going with this Again, you don’t have to do it this way, but I have read some reviews that were explicit and found them to be not only hilarious, but also very informative and fun. Just choose your words carefully.
For those of you that want some inspiration or just some ideas of how to write a review these are ones that I love and think might help you discover your own personal writing/reviewing style;
Hey Epiphora – The Alumina Motion
Pop My Cherry Review - Pirates (porn)
Beautiful Dreamer – Bow Mesh Corset
Britni TheVadgeWig – Adventures in Packing, Or, Product Review: Mr. Limpy
Naughty Eliot – Glass Dreams Topsy Turvy
Kinky World – Moist Lube Dispenser
Pretty Power Tools – eLove by Fun Factory
Hey Epiphora – Love Letter To Turbo Glider
Wrapping It Up
Sex toys are fun, so make your review fun…make it something you would want to read if you were someone else. Allow it to be that place where you let loose and just let go for a minute. It’s your space and your blog. No one else’s.
I’m sure most writers would agree that the key with writing the review is to just write it. Don’t let your fear of failure or judgment get the best of you and if you get stumped take a break. You’re allowed that. Remember, this isn’t meant to be stressful.
Once you’ve written your first review I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll want to write another, and another, and another. There is something quite thrilling about talking about sex toys…even more so, writing about them. (not to mention, the fun that can be had reviewing them )
Remember guys, I was once in your shoes and know just how confusing it can seem. That in mind, with a little help and support I’m sure you can learn how to be successful at doing something that is not only liberating but tonnes of fun as well!
For those of you that already have a blog up and running, next week I’ll be focusing on linking to your affiliate account through the toy review you learned to write in this article. The article will cover the steps for linking to words in your blog which will drive traffic to the sites you’ve affiliated with (hopefully making you money), offer suggestions of more affiliate programs you can sign up for, provide examples of links from others that I personally love and help you find companies that will provide you with toys to review for free (should you be accepted).
To make it easier I suggest you take this coming week to write a review of something you’ve tried, even if you didn’t like it. That way you’ll have something to learn how to link through when the time comes.
For those of you that don’t yet have a blog but would like to participate I suggest you go back to the first article in the series and get started.
If you have any questions about setting up your blog/becoming an affiliate do your best to find the answers online, if you can’t feel free to send me a message and I’ll do what I can to help.
